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I haven’t updated this blog for a while because I have been busy with a
few personal and collaborative projects with friends I made online via social
media, particularly Facebook, Aboutme.com and G+. And, if you’re wondering, no
we haven’t met in real life before. Yes, you heard me right! These are
friendships I have cultivated around the world in several countries. I know
you’re wondering whether this is possible in this very distrustful day and age.
So, how did this happen?
I would tell you but first of all let me give a little background to all
of this. A little while back, I wrote this piece 5 Things I Achieved After Deactivating Facebook For Two Months. I almost
sounded like a Facebook bashing b…….h (pardon my language) and then, i
explained some of the benefits. One thing I wasn’t sure of however was what I
was going to use my platform for since almost everyone in my friend’s list is a
family member. A break-down of my friend’s list looks like this. About 85% of
everyone on my list is family
(sister, brothers, cousins, nieces, nephews, aunties and one time neighbours). The other 15% are friends (old mates from primary school to university, former
co-workers and friends I have made around the world online but haven’t met in
real life). The latter group of friends of course, will be the focus of this article.
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How am I managing on my return?
1.
First off, I decided to do a few
things. My Facebook chat is completely and permanently turned off unless there
is an urgent situation that demands live interaction. Infact this was long
before I even took my Facebook break and it has remained same.
2.
I change my profile photos
periodically to prove I am not a fake to those who don’t know me in real life,
not for some ‘vanity fair’!!
3.
As a follow up to point 2, I
don’t therefore check the likes I get on my profile photos. Infact, I don’t
even click on the photo once uploaded except when I need to customize the visibility,
reply to comments made on it for the sake of courtesy or change to a new one.
To make it easy, I don’t keep my photos on my timeline. Therefore beyond the
last two names that Facebook displays, I never know who liked or un-liked my
personal photos anymore. I know there’s a hint of snobbishness in there but no,
that’s not the case. I am a very reciprocal person to a fault. I always feel
obliged to return the ‘like’ favour on the spot or later. This can be time consuming because I know I
will always find something I like on a friend’s timeline. Don’t get me wrong, I
appreciate all the likes and comments but I may not reciprocate immediately
because my focus is elsewhere. This point is also really important because deny
as we may, it’s a fact that, most, if not all of us tend to be obsessed with
how we look in photos. If you’re not careful, this can become an internalized
gloom when you don’t get the expected likes or likes from
particular people. Mine is to avoid all that and stay focused. For photos, I prefer Instagram
because that’s what it’s made for. Besides, on Instagram, the visibility of
those who liked your photos is locked after a certain number, which renders
it impossible to see the names unless you check from the notification; even
that is limited. I therefore get to like photos not necessarily out of
reciprocity but because I really liked them. Time saved.
4.
Do I ever like any photos of my
Facebook friends at all? Of course I do! I will be a hypocite to say I don’t. Here’s
what I have decided to do from now on! Maybe once or twice in a year I will go
through my entire list and find something to like on every friend’s page as a
tribute of friendship. I think I would spread this over a 2 or 3 weeks period in
barges especially on weekends. This approach I believe would save me time
whilst acknowledging the importance of friendships.
5.
Finally, what interest me most are
the likes I get on the content I post because they help me gauge people’s
interest through which I can generate an entrepreneurial idea.
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The last point brings me to the group of focus (friends that I have never met in
real life) and this has been one of the most beneficial
parts of Facebook and Social media overall. On my return to Facebook, I decided
to leverage these cultivated friendships into a collaborative economic effort
since I am into entrepreneurship and have a vague idea of what everyone does.
However, I had to ask myself, “Who’s going to trust someone, they have never
met in real life, especially someone from my location?” I know it’s difficult
for people to trust someone they only met online and have never met in real
life but I have been very lucky. At this point, I have three collaborative
efforts ongoing and others coming up with friends all over the world. Take this
list of examples.
Collaboration Type: E-commerce – Website: doctororganic.net (An online Store for organic products opening soon)
Collaboration Type: E-commerce (Digital Products Based) – Website: e-generaltrader.com (Soon to be
launched)
Collaboration Type: Community (under construction)
Name: +Mustapha Speaks (A successful social entrepreneur)
Collaboration Type: To be discussed (by the way my brother, still looking forward to that
collabo), lol.
These are but a few of several collaborative efforts under
discussion all with friends I have never met in real life. Who says it’s not
possible? It takes mutual trust and honesty. So, how do you build trust with friends you have never
met?
Honesty Is The Best Policy
The saying “honesty is the best policy” may seem over-flogged but it
cannot be over-emphasized. Be open and honest about everything. Also, know that
no one is perfect and everything under this sun is discussable for solutions. The
point here is that you need to be plain and honest about any and everything.
Also be genuinely interested in the people around you, don’t fake it. If
there’s something you’re not interested in, don’t touch it, just because it has
to be touched to impress. That’s manipulative and dishonest and people would
always smell it from a distance. Am I suggesting that everyone’s going to trust
you?? Hell, no!! Look,
there are several reasons why people will not trust or want anything to do with someone they have never met in real life. It’s just sane and sage! Maybe you did something
wrong, oblivious of the fact that you’re breeding mistrust. Maybe the person
got burnt by scam in relationships or business deals by a person they met
online and that makes it high risk to them. All this is understandable, though
there’s no guarantee that, you can fully trust everyone you know in real life.
I always say that, you can be dorm mates or best friends in a Monastery and a
friend will still cheat on you. The problem is not the medium, it is the people
involved (human nature). Also, it’s very important not to jump to conclusions on some of the
actions your friends take on social media if you haven’t discussed it with the
person. It can breed mistrust. If you have doubts about something make the
effort to talk to the person before drawing conclusions.
Help Without Strings
Finally offer help without strings attached. Always have good intentions for everyone. I have been doing this all my life. Trust me, God, or if you wish,
Karma would pay you back big time. Never-mind the time it takes or from where
it comes, it will come at some point in your life. When I help people, I help
with all my heart without expecting anything back. You can’t help in every
situation because you’re human but help those you can and when you do, expect
nothing back; it’s that simple, huh? And oh most importantly, make it a point to form real friendships not just collaborative or business friendships alone. Get to know people beyond themselves. Get to know their friends and family also. That's the best way to form real relationships of any kind because it builds trust over time.
As much as this article is about me, it’s actually intended to share ideas to help those who are addicted to Facebook and do not know how to use it ‘profitably’ following from my previous article. I shall be updating you on my progress in the collaborative projects with
my friends and be sharing ideas of how you can make positive progress. No,
those would not be motivational speeches. They would be actual step by step
guides on what to do from ground zero. You don’t need to be rich or poor,
green, black, yellow, white, blue, male, female, Non-gender, religious, non-religious
etc, etc to collaborate with people when they trust you. I am always open to collaboration with no strings attached. It doesn’t
matter if you don’t want to collaborate, whatever ideas you have, even if
vague, I can help you polish it by leveraging technology and social media for
success. All this without strings attached but note that you can build success on your own from what you have around you. There are many people building
full-time successful business using Social media alone. Don’t be left out. Feel free to share
this if you found it useful.
