Introversion Is Not a Disease

      Today I wish to go on a social tangent and put the hobby aside for a bit. I found an interesting question on Quora that I thought I should address. The question was, “WHAT DOES AN INTROVERT LOSE ON LIFE”? It came with some very interesting comments. I thought, what the hell, I am an introvert and I don’t remember having lost anything in life!! I can only remember having gained a lot, instead. I have heard various psychologists speak and write about this subject as if it’s some communicable disease that needs to be avoided. Some of the disadvantages that are claimed to go with introversion are shyness, not assertive enough and so losing out on that big promotion among many. Well, let me speak for myself. I do not need any diagnosis to know who I am and guess what I am perfectly comfortable with who I am. Infact if I were to die and reincarnate I would forever wish to remain introverted. Let me say that, this is not an introvert versus extrovert topic. I have lots of friends and family who are extroverts and I love their personality but I do not envy it. My best friend is an extrovert and I love him to bits for being who he is and being comfortable with it. My problem with some introverts is that, they do not accept who they are because society sometimes makes them feel like they are some anti-social outcasts. Yes, you may not be into huge crowds, yes you may be shy and so what?? Why would you want to live your life pleasing society with a personality that you are not? Why shouldn’t you live your life at your own comfort as long as it is within legal boundaries?

SELFISHNESS?: Introverts are often accused of being inward looking and selfish. Funny! Is there any personality alive who does not have an ounce of selfishness? Afterall, if you can’t love yourself, it’s virtually impossible to love others. What makes anyone believe that an extrovert who puts himself/herself out there and becomes the centre of attraction, the life of the party, isn’t being selfish? Trying to gain the attention of everyone and ignoring the sensibilities of others is equally a selfish way of pleasing ones ego. That to me is not necessarily a bad trait, though because it has its advantages too.  It is just who they are as extroverts. The only difference is that, they acknowledge and accept it whereas introverts mostly fail to do same.  

REAL FRIENDS: Being an introvert has attracted real and true friendships into my life and I have been an equally real and true friend to all. I do not have to spend my life pleasing the crowd to become popular in order to make friends. Infact, I hate being popular. It only tends to have you superficially pleasing others instead of being yourself. It also leads you to making fake friends. I know this because my extrovert friends, despite their numerous friends, always end up coming to me when they have problems that require very intimate solutions. I guess it’s because they can trust me more; so much for a selfish personality, huh?

TRUST: That leads me to the next topic ‘trust’. As an introvert, I know I can keep your deepest secrets and especially my extrovert friends and family know that too. Your spouse can infinitely trust you. I also know at work, I can be trusted to keep job secrets and get the job done on time. I see myself as laid back but confident in my job. I would not be the one to run someone down to take his/her place. I would rather do my job exceedingly well and let it speak for itself. I’d rather prefer I got a promotion because I did a great job and deserve it rather than know I got it by ‘fighting’ out someone else.

LOYALTY: As an introvert, you are very loyal in all your relationships. You are less likely to cheat on your friends or partner than others. You may every now and then be tempted but that is a natural human trait, however because of your laid back nature, you’re less likely to make initiatives or approaches to the opposite sex hence cheat. Even if the other takes the initiative, your massive self-conscience usually acts as a defensive mechanism against cheating. Your sub-conscience would always tell you this is wrong and prevent you from cheating hence you are more likely to stay loyal to your spouse than others. Simply put, you would have longer lasting and happier relationships.

CAREFUL THOUGHT: As an introvert you give careful and detailed thought to decision making and risk taking. Some people believe introverts are risk averse but rather, you take risks with calculated steps because you hate to fail. You prefer to learn and gather all the information required to succeed before taking a leap. You are a deep thinker therefore more likely to succeed than fail at first attempts on projects you undertake and even in your social adventures. Some people view this as procrastination or lack of self confidence but you know what you’re up to! You usually come out of the blue with huge success and everyone becomes surprised. Isn’t this an awesome trait?

The truth is that, as an introvert, there are career paths that may not be good for you and there are some types of relationships that you may not be successful at but does that mean you’re ‘horrible’? No, because this does not apply to only introverts. It applies to all types of personalities. You may not be good at marketing or sales but imagine being that ‘start-up king’ who sits back, makes all the decisions and hires all these skills to work for you?  How about being the loyal friend that everyone can trust? There are more advantages to being an introvert than not. Just embrace who you are and be comfortable with it and you will be fine.